Here you are folks, 136 fotos from the month of November for your viewing pleasure!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2047615&id=27500865&l=5656e9d8b8
events included:
-goodbye party for volunteer Ana with some more than embarrassing photos of me!
-my first fiesta season for Bahia.
-various events with the jovenes I work with
-The annual fiesta of the community storehouses complete with a beauty queen contest with evening dresses made from local agricultural products. (how can you resist!?) with a surprise guest judge, ahem, wink, wink.
-family game day
-block-style workshops about family values
-Anita's Quincenera
-BINGO! for disability
- a trip to the beach with the jovenes
Monday, November 30, 2009
Sunday, November 29, 2009
BINGO!!!!!!
One of the first real friends that I made here in Bahia was Mario, a friend who taught me the importance of BINGO to your average Ecuadorian community. He threw the term, “bingera” out in conversation and in my usual response to ecua-vocabulary, wrinkled up my face not understanding the phrase, “la gente de Bahia son muy bingera” (the people of Bahia are very bingera). What could bingera possible mean!? That they LOVE BINGO! Of course they do!!! What could be more fun than filling BINGO cards with pieces of dried corn to win bottles of oil, bags of rice, glasses, produce, you name it, if its cheap then it is a viable prize!!!! I swear there is a BINGO event in the neighborhoods of Leonidas Plaza everyday of the week and ALL day Saturday and Sunday. You rent 2 tablas (cards) for $1 and play until all the prizes are gone. (how fun!!!!!!!) Most of the local BINGO events here are purely just something to do, but there are other events, BINGO Millionario and BINGO Solidario, are the two I have become familiar with, in order to raise funds. The BINGO Millionario involves more elaborate prizes, think blenders, toasters, dish sets, tables, etc, more complex BINGO moves (the L, T, X, blackouts, etc) and you buy your tabla per round; you pay more to win more, and the sponsor of the event makes more money in turn. The BINGO Solidario is played like the neighborhood games, but all the money goes to supporting a person in need, a group, a project, an event, etc. and the prizes are generally donated.
So how did I get to be such an expert in the world of Ecuadorian BINGO? Well I just can't get away from it! It's around every corner, I have numerous friends who “call” BINGO, a few more who rent out the game sets to groups, and well I helped plan and carry out a BINGO Solidario in November. The RBC project is broke, to put it simply. Of the four employees, two teachers and two madres comunitarias, the first are paid my a Spanish Foundation for disability, the later “paid” by INFA, and when I say “paid” by INFA I mean they are supposed to be paid, but INFA is about 4 months late in paying them...Transport to and from work is paid out of pocket, the foundation covers copies and office type supplies needed, four times a year there is an application to receive school/recreation supplies for the school and activities from INFA, but other than that, money is just not available. So in order to take the kids on small field trips and do fun things with them we needed to raise some funds. First we tried organizing some moms to sell snacks to the kids leaving their catechism classes, but the time they put in preparing and selling, was more than the money we recovered. We needed a way to get some real money! BINGO! And so we did...
Really, a BINGO is pretty easy to organize; you pick a date, rent (or in our case, borrow) the game set, print the tickets and sell them, buy/collect prizes, get a locale, and hold the event. It took all of a couple days to organize everything and we were set. Ours was a pretty small event, but also it was our first ever fundraiser and community-type event as RBC. Everyone and their mother (literally, the mothers sold the majority of the tickets...) sold about 125 tickets at a $1 a piece. Part of the trick of the BINGO Solidario is that you sell the tickets ahead of time as a fundraiser for the event, and people buy the tickets more to support the group than to come the event and play. For example, I sold a bunch of tickets here in Bahia to the “pelacones” (the term for the rich people of Ecuador) knowing that they would donate the dollar or two to the cause, but never make the trip out to the campo to actually play. We also organized all the moms of the kids to make treats to sell to the attendees and got a few other snacks and sodas donated. We had popsicles at 10 cents a piece, popcorn for 25 cents a bag, soda for 10 cents a cup, delitos (a strip of cheese or meat wrapped in dough and fried, delicious!) 3 for 25 cents, and empanadas 2 for 25 cents. During the event I was in charge of selling the snacks and I had too much fun with the microphone advertising the snacks, heckling the people to buy, sending out our youth volunteers to deliver the treats, and collecting the money! :D
(L:Natalia calling the BINGO round and Isidra, Special Needs Teacher, supervising; R: Raquel, RBC Madre Comunitaria, playing a round)
As far as the game actually went, each attendee received two tablas for each $1 ticket. The event went on for about 3 hours, until all of our prizes had been given away to winners, and I think that everyone left happy and content with the afternoon. I had a great time! All in all, we raised about $175 for the special needs school (which is a fortune for a school that has a budget of just about nothing!) As the afternoon wrapped up, we gave hugs and kisses to all of the moms for all of their hard work and dedication and invited them to join us for a “paseo” (field trip) with their kids. Thanks to their hard work, we raised enough money to cover the costs of kids and moms for our International Day of Disability field trip to Bahia, and per our calculations would still have some left over for future projects, paseos, etc.
Wednesday, November 18, 2009
25 Añitos!
I have had the wonderful oppertunity to experience yet another fantastic birthday outside of the States...this year celebrating a quarter of a century of ME! I thought that I could never have a birthday celebration as special as I did last year. Meeting up with other volunteers in Mahajunga to celbrate the anticipated election of President Barak Obama, wandering the streets of that beautiful city with new friends brought together by the incredible experience of living on that beautiful island, eating a 6000 Ariary Magnum ice cream (they only cost 1.25 here...), Marco´s Pizza and Wine, gelato! It was a wonderful wonderful birthday. But this year, I think my birthday was even more special because i had the chance to celebrate and share my day with new friends here in Ecuador that are becoming like my second family. But let me tell the whole story...because my plans of fun were almost foiled.
A few weeks before my birthday, I was chatting with Karla about my upcoming big 25th birthday and that I really wanted to do something to celebrate...it was also important to me that I be able to include my new friends and keep fostering the relationships that I was building. I wanted a fun, special, low cost event to celebrate with everyone and I also wanted to include a little PC goal two, sharing my culture with Ecuadorians. The idea struck me: a good old fashioned bonfire on the beach with hotdogs and marshmallows. Eureka! Karla made a stop my the office of the "Capitan" and he said to stop by the day of the bonfire to get the permit, free of charge. Holler!
So November the 5th rolled around, and Karla went to get our permit from the Capitan in the morning, and it was a no go. Due to the fiestas that had been going on in Bahia, all permits were suspended until further notice...there would be no bonfire on the beach. I got a little upset, I even cried a little (it was a stressful week! and this was the icing on the cake!!!) but I had already invited the guests - I wasnt goign to cancel my own party!!! I made the decision, we would move the party to the house! We borrowed the BBQ from Karla´s sister and set out to make our purchases: 80 hotdogs and buns, katchup, mayo, mustard, chips, soda, stuff to make salsa and guacamole, oh and some Pilsner, the national beer of Ecuador.
After some purchases and my daily work routine, I rushed back to the house to get everything ready in time for my party at 7. Time was tight, and after rushing around and stressing at 7:15 I was seated downstairs waiting for my guests to arive. No one. 7:30 no one. 8:00 still no one. I started to worried that I had planned a party for no one to enjoy...but at 8:20, right on Ecuatime, Humberto shows up with a pickup truck full of people, and yells "ya vengo" (I´ll be right back) as he drives away.
By 8:30 the whole downstairs patio is brimming with people. I turn up the music, Eik grab my camera (thank for being my photographer, girl!), Karla fires up the grill and the party begins! Within an hour, everyone has piled a hotdog or two or three to the brim with toppings, is chatting and everyone is eyeing the bags of puffed gelitan and sugar that remains on the table. Maria, one of the voluteers from Spain, says she has always wanted to roast marshmallowes like they do in the movies. I tear open the bags, hand out the skewers and the roasting fun begins! After everyone had their sugar highs in order, we played a few games, did a few dinamicas, and then as a big suprise, Father Pedro showed up to wish me a happy birthday! The party wrapped up at about 11:30, with everyone tired and content, at lease I hope so!
All in all, it was a super fun night. I loved every minute of it and know that I have to follow it up with another party next year. :D But really, the best part of the day was being with new friends, if I couldn´t have celebrated with friends and family back home, it was the next best thing!
Viva la Cumplañera!!!!
Tuesday, November 17, 2009
Being Present
I am finding that one of the most challenging parts of being an urban volunteer is finding where you belong, with whom you work and socialize with, it's all about finding your personal “community.” The Peace Corps experience and success rests on integrating with a group of people, the community. In the rural sense of Peace Corps, the “community” is obvious. In a town or village everyone knows everyone and the generally slow pace of life facilitates ones integration into the greater community as a volunteer meets the majority of the community, gets involved in the local activities, lives a lifestyle like the rest; in this rural situation it is easy to be present, available, and become a part of the community with time just merely by living within the town/village space, participating, and sharing.
In the urban sense of Peace Corps, this sense of “community” isn't so readily visible or easily accessible. People live in divided urban spaces, barrios, where people eat, sleep and live, but who don't necessarily identify within a the community of “La Marianita,” “Los Bloques,” “Bellavista,” etc. Unlike my urban Malagasy community of Marovoay, there isn't really anything that unites the Bahia area. Students study at fiscal or private schools, near or far from their homes, the majority of people who live in Leonidas Plazas work in Bahia, and I often find that people are more connected with their friends and family in Manta, Portoviejo, Guayaquil, Charlotte, NC, New Jersey, or Spain, than with their neighbors. Mostly, I notice how much more private peoples lives are here in the Bahia area than they were in my town in Madagascar. I miss seeing neighborhood women sprawled out on grass mats together trying to catch an afternoon breeze, laughing, chatting and inviting conversation from passerbys (in fact it was rude not to converse! No one has anything THAT important to do to not talk!), I miss the sense of community that I felt in Marovoay. It was a big town, but everyone seemed to intermingle in different facets of their lives and connect. I find that here in Bahia in a town of about 20,000 people many people don't even know all of their neighbors, and aren't always interested either. In Madagascar, I found my place and community with my neighbors and co-teachers, because there was an obvious connection between, and there was a genuine interest in who I was, a single, foreign woman who had come to live at the school and teach for two years. Sure, my blue eyes and fair skin, where much a burden to me in Madagascar and many times showed me the ugliest side of sexual harassment and rudeness in people, but I was, for many, the first foreign person they had been in contact with. On the flip side, tourism brings in a large portion of the local revenue in Bahia. Blue eyes and fair skin aren't new here in Bahia, in fact, the majority of people are used to seeing faces like mine come and go regularly, spending a few nights at the “Coco Bongo” Hostal, walking the quite shaded streets of town, and then catching the “panga”(launch) to Canoa to go surfing and enjoy the beach.
In all honesty, I never imagined these first three months at site would be so difficult. I thought I would repeat my first Peace Corps experience, fall into a “community” of people I lived and worked with, and find my way within a few weeks. But I lacked a lot of the Peace Corps support and host agency support. I was placed with a regional agency that administratively serves the whole northern portion of the province of Manabi. Of the 15 staff members, 5 live in Bahia or Leonidas Plazas, and only 3 are from originally Bahia. These 15 staff members spent 40-65 hours a week at their desks filling out paperwork and filing reports with the government. I was looking for an avenue to get out into the community and not into an overworked, clerical office. Even my counterpart, a woman originally from Bahia, but who has spent the last 15 years between Portoviejo and Guayaquil was not equipped to help me find “my community” and place as a Peace Corps volunteer even with her best intentions for hosting a PCV in her agency.
About one month into my service here in Bahia, I found that I was spinning my wheels at the INFA office; I was without anything to do, I knew really no one apart from the INFA staff, and my host family. I knew it would be infintely difficult to go about finding my way as a PCV alone in the Bahia and Leonidas Plazas area. I had heard from the Municipio to INFA the serious social issues that exist, low reading rates, high rates of teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, alcoholism, child abuse and neglect; there wasn't a lack of things to do and get involved with, but the method and modes of getting to work seems daunting.
The divide between Bahia and Leonidas Plazas was one of the first things I noticed upon trying to find my place in these communities here as a Peace Corps Volunteer after moving away from INFA. They are two distinct populations, with no real border. There is an interesting divide among the people of the two towns. Bahia has the illusion of wealth and prosperity, but only 2 of the 13 barrios are made of of strikingly modern, beautiful houses and condos. Leonidas Plazas, on the other hand has a rumored reputation of dangers - robberies, fights in the streets...but that too I'm finding out is more talk than reality. But movement between the two towns is constant, necessary, and to the majority of people it seems more of of a geographical difference, Bahia – North, Leonidas Plazas – East, but to many it is a divide of class, race, moral, everything; they are complete and separate worlds.
Needless to say, in a transient community of 20,000 people divided into two distinct areas, how does a lone gringa from Oregon go about finding her way, her community and her town? That was my issue. And I think it is an urban volunteers issue all the same. In an urban area with buses and taxis, boats connecting to nearby communities, tourism, commercial exporting, trade, etc, the Peace Corps foundation of being known, integrating, and with a little effort things just falling into to place, take on a new dynamic. I can't claim Bahia-Leonidas Plazas as my “community” because I can't relate and socialize within a population so large and diverse. Rather I needed to be involved in something, to belong to some place and find my “community” in a more specific sense of the word. A daunting task when you arrive to a new city divided into 45+ barrios, alone and without a lot of direction or help.
As I have written before,I found my work partner, the Parroquia (Parish) in Leonidas Plazas and its foundation after about a month in Bahia with the help of my dear Espanolas, Maria and Natalia, and was astounded, infatuated, and excited by the work they did in the greater community of L. Plazas and its surrounding communities. In my first few weeks was here, there, everywhere; I had kissed a lot of cheeks, made a lot of small talk, and hoped that I would find my place within the group. After a month of getting acquainted with people and the work of the Parroquia community, I found that I still felt like I didn't really have a place to belong, that I was without the “community” element that Peace Corps service rests so firmly on. I can't work and be a successful volunteer if I am working alone, but it was unclear to me if I was welcome to jump into existing projects or if my place was to create something new and go it alone in the name of the Parroquia.
Father Pedro Jesus, the head of everything that is the Parroquia, is an extremely busy man. He is juggling leading the catholic community of Leonidas Plazas in terms of Mass, catechisms, and everything else church related, likewise, he is the disseminating point of all the community and service work that the foundation does: micro-finance and rural community organization, the community kitchen and homework program for kids in Fanca, the regional commission for HIV-AIDS, special education and home visits for people with disability, just to name a few. Everything that the Parroquia, its volunteers and employees do, originates from him. So finding a moment to talk with this man about my personal issues of feeling isolated, uninvolved, and without much to do, seemed like a difficult point to bring up with him in the few moments I saw him in passing...also, it is worth mentioning that I need someone with a bit of patience to talk with me. Not that I cant express myself, it just takes me a little longer than the average Spanish-speaker to get my words out and my point across and sometimes Father Pedro is not that person! And I can't blame him; he didn't solicit two years of patient conversation with a volunteer from the States, and guiding me in finding my way; I know that he is happy to have me as part of the Parroquia team, but it took some extra work on my part to get the guidance I needed from him.
Until about 2 weeks ago, I was really struggling with my lack of “belonging” feelings. I felt like I was showing up to work and collaborate with people who could care less if I was there or not. Then over the course of a few days it all started falling into place. After my trip to Guayaquil, Father Pedro told me everyone missed me and was asking where I was was. One day I had an epiphany...after 6pm, as I hang out with the jovenes(youth) of the Parroquia communiy, I am always checking my watch, not wanting to get home too late, knowing that my host family is expecting me; I also found that I didn't always go to weekend events with the Parroquia, because the host family wanted me to hang out with them or that I was rushing away as soon at they were over and not hanging out and being part of the group.
It was a hard realization to make, but I found that as long as I lived with my host family who wanted me to be a part of their family, I was never going to get involved and be a part of “my community” and rely on them like I want to and need to in order to integrate and feel like I belong.
Another thing I had to put into perspective was the hours of operation of my organization and community. The Parroquia is a Parish, a Parish committed to serving the greater community of Leonidas Plazas and the surrounding communities. It is a religious organization, but it supports a series of projects that serves all people regardless of religious affliliation in order to better all peoples quality of life. Thus the work they do doesn't fit into a 9-5 box. As a volunteer focused on working with youth and families, I had to come to terms with the fact that students study from 7am till 12 or 1pm Monday to Friday; which leaves the majority of my mornings free. Likewise, Saturday and Sunday are the ideal days to organize activities and projects with youth and families. I realized that I needed to be working from noon until the evening and be available to participate in weekend events with the Parroquia that usually start at 8am on Saturday. I also found that that I needed to remove the guilt I felt from not being available to my host family to spend every evening and weekend with them. I love my host family, they are so warm, welcoming and fun! And they have made a lot of my initial struggles here in Bahia manageable, but, I had to put into perspective that I came to Ecuador to spend two years serving in and being part of a community. Once I realized that my ability to become part of a community was being hindered by my obligations to being part of a household, I knew I needed to look for some independence from the Andrade family that has welcomed me so fully and wonderfully into their lives.
It took me days to build up the courage I needed to tell the host fam that I would be moving out. Needless to say it was taken with disappointment and sadness. The decision, however, has freed me from feeling obligated to arrive in time for dinner (which I am never hungry for at 6:30) and spend my evenings at home with Karla watching TV, when I could and should be elsewhere, involved and participating. Within the course of two weeks I learned the greatest lesson of Peace Corps Ecuador so far: BEING PRESENT. With just freeing myself of outside obligations and being available, and around that Parroquia, including evenings and weekend events, I finally feel a part of something. I have friends, people who are happy to see me, a group of jovenes (young people) who hang all over me, kids that chase me up the streets of Bahia and Leonidas Plazas to say hello, invitations to dinner, everything I was was looking for. It feels good. Mostly it feels productive, like in a matter of months I will really be involved, engaged and on my way to not just participating but contributing...finally.
I know that I am my hardest critic. It's taken me a long time to admit how hard I am on myself; never satisfied with what I am doing and always wanting to do and give more of myself. Like Father Pedro reminded me the other day, I have only been with the Parroquia two months, yet I know almost everyone who works, volunteers and colaborates; I have made it out to almost all the communities to meet the families and introduce myself; I am working with groups of mothers in Bahia and in a rural community who now trust my advice and rely on me to be there and support them, I have a group of kids at the comedor (community kitchen) that anticipate my arrival everyday and actually like doing their homework because I am there helping and supporting, and that their parents (most of whom I've not met) are excited in working with me in a training for parents in the coming months. I have to remind myself that its okay to have down time, there is nothing wrong with it, and that this time with diminish with time.
I have a lovely apartment in Bahia picked out for myself, and think it will be my first move. I had a hard time locating an apartment in Leonidas Plazas that was the right size for me and in an area of town that I liked and feel safe. On my final day of apartment hunting, I found a small house and an apartment that I both liked, but neither of them are finished (missing floors, bathrooms, etc, important things!), so I can't move into them like I'd like, which is the beginning of December. They are both in barrios filled with people from “my community.” It gave me all sorts of warm fuzzies inside to see people come out of their houses and ask if I was going to be moving nearby, and for the past few days I have been inundated with kids and teens asking me when I am moving into our neighborhood...to which I have to respond; eventually, I hope. I would love to make another move in a few months into my “community's “ neighborhood, and complete my urban integration.
In the urban sense of Peace Corps, this sense of “community” isn't so readily visible or easily accessible. People live in divided urban spaces, barrios, where people eat, sleep and live, but who don't necessarily identify within a the community of “La Marianita,” “Los Bloques,” “Bellavista,” etc. Unlike my urban Malagasy community of Marovoay, there isn't really anything that unites the Bahia area. Students study at fiscal or private schools, near or far from their homes, the majority of people who live in Leonidas Plazas work in Bahia, and I often find that people are more connected with their friends and family in Manta, Portoviejo, Guayaquil, Charlotte, NC, New Jersey, or Spain, than with their neighbors. Mostly, I notice how much more private peoples lives are here in the Bahia area than they were in my town in Madagascar. I miss seeing neighborhood women sprawled out on grass mats together trying to catch an afternoon breeze, laughing, chatting and inviting conversation from passerbys (in fact it was rude not to converse! No one has anything THAT important to do to not talk!), I miss the sense of community that I felt in Marovoay. It was a big town, but everyone seemed to intermingle in different facets of their lives and connect. I find that here in Bahia in a town of about 20,000 people many people don't even know all of their neighbors, and aren't always interested either. In Madagascar, I found my place and community with my neighbors and co-teachers, because there was an obvious connection between, and there was a genuine interest in who I was, a single, foreign woman who had come to live at the school and teach for two years. Sure, my blue eyes and fair skin, where much a burden to me in Madagascar and many times showed me the ugliest side of sexual harassment and rudeness in people, but I was, for many, the first foreign person they had been in contact with. On the flip side, tourism brings in a large portion of the local revenue in Bahia. Blue eyes and fair skin aren't new here in Bahia, in fact, the majority of people are used to seeing faces like mine come and go regularly, spending a few nights at the “Coco Bongo” Hostal, walking the quite shaded streets of town, and then catching the “panga”(launch) to Canoa to go surfing and enjoy the beach.
In all honesty, I never imagined these first three months at site would be so difficult. I thought I would repeat my first Peace Corps experience, fall into a “community” of people I lived and worked with, and find my way within a few weeks. But I lacked a lot of the Peace Corps support and host agency support. I was placed with a regional agency that administratively serves the whole northern portion of the province of Manabi. Of the 15 staff members, 5 live in Bahia or Leonidas Plazas, and only 3 are from originally Bahia. These 15 staff members spent 40-65 hours a week at their desks filling out paperwork and filing reports with the government. I was looking for an avenue to get out into the community and not into an overworked, clerical office. Even my counterpart, a woman originally from Bahia, but who has spent the last 15 years between Portoviejo and Guayaquil was not equipped to help me find “my community” and place as a Peace Corps volunteer even with her best intentions for hosting a PCV in her agency.
About one month into my service here in Bahia, I found that I was spinning my wheels at the INFA office; I was without anything to do, I knew really no one apart from the INFA staff, and my host family. I knew it would be infintely difficult to go about finding my way as a PCV alone in the Bahia and Leonidas Plazas area. I had heard from the Municipio to INFA the serious social issues that exist, low reading rates, high rates of teenage pregnancy, drug abuse, alcoholism, child abuse and neglect; there wasn't a lack of things to do and get involved with, but the method and modes of getting to work seems daunting.
The divide between Bahia and Leonidas Plazas was one of the first things I noticed upon trying to find my place in these communities here as a Peace Corps Volunteer after moving away from INFA. They are two distinct populations, with no real border. There is an interesting divide among the people of the two towns. Bahia has the illusion of wealth and prosperity, but only 2 of the 13 barrios are made of of strikingly modern, beautiful houses and condos. Leonidas Plazas, on the other hand has a rumored reputation of dangers - robberies, fights in the streets...but that too I'm finding out is more talk than reality. But movement between the two towns is constant, necessary, and to the majority of people it seems more of of a geographical difference, Bahia – North, Leonidas Plazas – East, but to many it is a divide of class, race, moral, everything; they are complete and separate worlds.
Needless to say, in a transient community of 20,000 people divided into two distinct areas, how does a lone gringa from Oregon go about finding her way, her community and her town? That was my issue. And I think it is an urban volunteers issue all the same. In an urban area with buses and taxis, boats connecting to nearby communities, tourism, commercial exporting, trade, etc, the Peace Corps foundation of being known, integrating, and with a little effort things just falling into to place, take on a new dynamic. I can't claim Bahia-Leonidas Plazas as my “community” because I can't relate and socialize within a population so large and diverse. Rather I needed to be involved in something, to belong to some place and find my “community” in a more specific sense of the word. A daunting task when you arrive to a new city divided into 45+ barrios, alone and without a lot of direction or help.
As I have written before,I found my work partner, the Parroquia (Parish) in Leonidas Plazas and its foundation after about a month in Bahia with the help of my dear Espanolas, Maria and Natalia, and was astounded, infatuated, and excited by the work they did in the greater community of L. Plazas and its surrounding communities. In my first few weeks was here, there, everywhere; I had kissed a lot of cheeks, made a lot of small talk, and hoped that I would find my place within the group. After a month of getting acquainted with people and the work of the Parroquia community, I found that I still felt like I didn't really have a place to belong, that I was without the “community” element that Peace Corps service rests so firmly on. I can't work and be a successful volunteer if I am working alone, but it was unclear to me if I was welcome to jump into existing projects or if my place was to create something new and go it alone in the name of the Parroquia.
Father Pedro Jesus, the head of everything that is the Parroquia, is an extremely busy man. He is juggling leading the catholic community of Leonidas Plazas in terms of Mass, catechisms, and everything else church related, likewise, he is the disseminating point of all the community and service work that the foundation does: micro-finance and rural community organization, the community kitchen and homework program for kids in Fanca, the regional commission for HIV-AIDS, special education and home visits for people with disability, just to name a few. Everything that the Parroquia, its volunteers and employees do, originates from him. So finding a moment to talk with this man about my personal issues of feeling isolated, uninvolved, and without much to do, seemed like a difficult point to bring up with him in the few moments I saw him in passing...also, it is worth mentioning that I need someone with a bit of patience to talk with me. Not that I cant express myself, it just takes me a little longer than the average Spanish-speaker to get my words out and my point across and sometimes Father Pedro is not that person! And I can't blame him; he didn't solicit two years of patient conversation with a volunteer from the States, and guiding me in finding my way; I know that he is happy to have me as part of the Parroquia team, but it took some extra work on my part to get the guidance I needed from him.
Until about 2 weeks ago, I was really struggling with my lack of “belonging” feelings. I felt like I was showing up to work and collaborate with people who could care less if I was there or not. Then over the course of a few days it all started falling into place. After my trip to Guayaquil, Father Pedro told me everyone missed me and was asking where I was was. One day I had an epiphany...after 6pm, as I hang out with the jovenes(youth) of the Parroquia communiy, I am always checking my watch, not wanting to get home too late, knowing that my host family is expecting me; I also found that I didn't always go to weekend events with the Parroquia, because the host family wanted me to hang out with them or that I was rushing away as soon at they were over and not hanging out and being part of the group.
It was a hard realization to make, but I found that as long as I lived with my host family who wanted me to be a part of their family, I was never going to get involved and be a part of “my community” and rely on them like I want to and need to in order to integrate and feel like I belong.
Another thing I had to put into perspective was the hours of operation of my organization and community. The Parroquia is a Parish, a Parish committed to serving the greater community of Leonidas Plazas and the surrounding communities. It is a religious organization, but it supports a series of projects that serves all people regardless of religious affliliation in order to better all peoples quality of life. Thus the work they do doesn't fit into a 9-5 box. As a volunteer focused on working with youth and families, I had to come to terms with the fact that students study from 7am till 12 or 1pm Monday to Friday; which leaves the majority of my mornings free. Likewise, Saturday and Sunday are the ideal days to organize activities and projects with youth and families. I realized that I needed to be working from noon until the evening and be available to participate in weekend events with the Parroquia that usually start at 8am on Saturday. I also found that that I needed to remove the guilt I felt from not being available to my host family to spend every evening and weekend with them. I love my host family, they are so warm, welcoming and fun! And they have made a lot of my initial struggles here in Bahia manageable, but, I had to put into perspective that I came to Ecuador to spend two years serving in and being part of a community. Once I realized that my ability to become part of a community was being hindered by my obligations to being part of a household, I knew I needed to look for some independence from the Andrade family that has welcomed me so fully and wonderfully into their lives.
It took me days to build up the courage I needed to tell the host fam that I would be moving out. Needless to say it was taken with disappointment and sadness. The decision, however, has freed me from feeling obligated to arrive in time for dinner (which I am never hungry for at 6:30) and spend my evenings at home with Karla watching TV, when I could and should be elsewhere, involved and participating. Within the course of two weeks I learned the greatest lesson of Peace Corps Ecuador so far: BEING PRESENT. With just freeing myself of outside obligations and being available, and around that Parroquia, including evenings and weekend events, I finally feel a part of something. I have friends, people who are happy to see me, a group of jovenes (young people) who hang all over me, kids that chase me up the streets of Bahia and Leonidas Plazas to say hello, invitations to dinner, everything I was was looking for. It feels good. Mostly it feels productive, like in a matter of months I will really be involved, engaged and on my way to not just participating but contributing...finally.
I know that I am my hardest critic. It's taken me a long time to admit how hard I am on myself; never satisfied with what I am doing and always wanting to do and give more of myself. Like Father Pedro reminded me the other day, I have only been with the Parroquia two months, yet I know almost everyone who works, volunteers and colaborates; I have made it out to almost all the communities to meet the families and introduce myself; I am working with groups of mothers in Bahia and in a rural community who now trust my advice and rely on me to be there and support them, I have a group of kids at the comedor (community kitchen) that anticipate my arrival everyday and actually like doing their homework because I am there helping and supporting, and that their parents (most of whom I've not met) are excited in working with me in a training for parents in the coming months. I have to remind myself that its okay to have down time, there is nothing wrong with it, and that this time with diminish with time.
I have a lovely apartment in Bahia picked out for myself, and think it will be my first move. I had a hard time locating an apartment in Leonidas Plazas that was the right size for me and in an area of town that I liked and feel safe. On my final day of apartment hunting, I found a small house and an apartment that I both liked, but neither of them are finished (missing floors, bathrooms, etc, important things!), so I can't move into them like I'd like, which is the beginning of December. They are both in barrios filled with people from “my community.” It gave me all sorts of warm fuzzies inside to see people come out of their houses and ask if I was going to be moving nearby, and for the past few days I have been inundated with kids and teens asking me when I am moving into our neighborhood...to which I have to respond; eventually, I hope. I would love to make another move in a few months into my “community's “ neighborhood, and complete my urban integration.
Tuesday, November 3, 2009
Photos from October!!!
A picture is worth a 1000 words! Take a look into my life in the month of October:
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2047593&id=27500865&l=bccdfe7064
some of the things you will find:
*charlas with parents of special needs kids*parades*Madagascar themed Bday party*hanging out and sipping cocktails with priests and friends after mass in Charapoto*working with special needs kids in the campo*impromptu face painting*
enjoy!
http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2047593&id=27500865&l=bccdfe7064
some of the things you will find:
*charlas with parents of special needs kids*parades*Madagascar themed Bday party*hanging out and sipping cocktails with priests and friends after mass in Charapoto*working with special needs kids in the campo*impromptu face painting*
enjoy!
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