A little window inside...

For those of you who speak/read Spanish here is the link to the blog of the Organization I am working with in Ecuador. And for those of you who don´t speak/read Spanish, feel free to browse the pictures and get an idea of what this foundation, parish, community organization does in the local area of where I am living!

http://www.holapanitas.blogspot.com/

Unwanted Attention Mantra

Last weekend, I was lucky enough to get to escape from my city life and visit a another style of city life in Guayaquil. Now for any woman who has spent any amount of time Latin America, they can tell you all about the ridiculous, unrelenting, unnecessary amount of hissing, catcalls, smacking of lips, and other types of unwanted attention from the typical passerby. As I pounded the concrete of Gquil with my two best girls here in Ecuador, Liz and Molly, we had ample time to discuss and analyze all of this verbal harrassment (yes, that is what it is, let´s not sugar coat it anymore) nonsense.
There is some that is good, or should I say ok. Someone simply saying "que lindas ninas" as they pass by us. Because, hey, if I saw my girls and I walking down the street, I think that a simple declaration of "what cute girls!" might come flying out of my mouth too! We are cute girls! But then there is the ugly, bad, makes you feel either angry, or dirty, or some combination of the two, and usually leaves me with a scrunched up, stink face. It is the tone of voice, the look that accompanies it, a gesture, licking of lips, loud, wet, gross kissing noises from passing cars. It makes me want to scream with anger. And some times I do. And the worst part is. When I shout obsenities at these individuals, it validates them. They love it! The stark, raving, mad gringa reaction is exactly what they wanted...because it means I was listening. It worked. Me da rabia!!!!! (It makes me soooooo mad!)But this is what I am working with here...
One of the lovely Peace Corps volunteers that lives in Guayaquil has a lovely mantra to help her deal with this unwanted attention/harrassment. I am trying to adopt it into my daily life, 1)because I need something if I am going to live here 2 years as a PC volunteer, and if I am looking at a career abroad too... 2) becasue it makes me laugh, and you really need to be able to laugh at the situation. It goes a little something like this:

Man yelling catcall : "Que rica nina!!!!"" (hiss hiss, kiss, smack, hiss hiss)

Calm, cool collected PCV: "I know, right!?" (said with sarcasm, because come on!)"I am a tasty woman. See, that is why I love men. They are so observant!"

As you walk away from the catcalling man, saying this, you can´t help but crack up. Admit it. It´s funny! Well it´s making my week at least! Ha haa ha!!!

Emotionals Ups and Downs and Downs

I have been feeling a little low the last few weeks, but luckily I can recognize that these feelings are all part of the typical struggle periods of Peace Corps service. It doesn't necessarily feel like a productive struggle and isn't likely to resolve itself immediately. As much as I don't want to say this, maybe this struggle is even a necessary part of finding a place and identifying a role in a community - nonetheless it doesn't feel like a positive phase of my experience here. There is, however, a page in my Youth and Families Development handbook, entitled, Critical Periods in the Life of a Peace Corps Volunteer, which is helping put my emotions, self-doubts, and anxiousness in perspective. I don't like to put myself in the “typical” box. I am an individual, independent (sometimes more than I ought to be...), and capable; I take pride in my ability to persevere in difficult situations and in my usual role as “the rock” my friends and peers can rely on. But, this strength is definitely being tried right now.

This is what my handbook tells me about the challenges and struggles of month 3-6 of Peace Corps service:
Issues to be had:
Assignment: I am finding that it would be nice if I had one...ha ha. I know that I am here as a Youth and Families Development volunteer, but the reach of this title is sweeping. Y&F volunteers do just about everything. From a direct intervention stance: working with homework programs, to starting youth groups, working in schools, organizing sports teams, giving talks and workshops to groups, but other volunteers work at an agency level creating programs, organizing workshops, developing the infrastructure to support direct intervention and the like.
For me, my given assignment, fell though within my first month here when I realized that my counterpart had no real grasp of what a Peace Corps volunteer does, nor the time to help me get out of the office and into the community on my own, but still in the name of INFA. This all feels like ancient history now...As I have written, I have moved on to a new group as my community contact, Fundacion Corazon Solidario, part of the Parroquia of Leonidas Plazas. The possibility of my assignment all of a sudden is wide open to whatever I want to do. Which leads me to...
Uncertainty of Role: I am pretty sure that I ask myself “what are you doing here?” daily. And this is a broad sweeping question. I am overwhelming impressed with the foundation I am a part of; the number of projects that exist, the quality of the work that is done, the sustainability of projects, the commitment and passion that people have to work for penance and be paid with the gratitude of improving their community and neighbors lives.
This in essence is my stemming identity issue with the Foundation...I don't really feel a part of anything. It is one of my unique challenges, I guess, in finding my own organization to work with. I didn't get the pre-arrival Peace Corps introduction, no one from the foundation wrote a solicitation asking for a volunteer, there were no months awaiting my arrival and thus no anticipation for what I could or would do. Rather I planned a meeting with Father Pedro, told him what I was capable of doing, that I liked the work he was doing in the community and would like to be a part of the working groups if there was a place for me. I was welcomed to be part of the group; as the newbie I was carted around for a week or two, to see the big picture, and then was given some phone numbers to follow up with to see the rest. After my tour de projects, I had met a lot of people, attended a few meetings, walked the length and breadth of Leonidas Plazas and felt completely lost. What I learned from my month or so of introduction, is that the Foundation is a pretty well run and organized operation. Although Father Pedro is the center of it all, all of the programs really run independently. There is no weekly or monthly meeting. Everyone just knows what is the expectation they have in regards to their work, and everything works out well. I see a ton of possibility, but feel like I am an arm’s length away from everything. Partly like I am missing a piece of the puzzle of how I can fit in and be part of the close-knit group, and partly because I don't want to step on people’s feet. Especially, because I respect so much the work that people do within the Foundation and the Parroquia, I want to make sure that individuals understand that I am interested in collaborating, improving and extending the reach of the Foundation, not changing or replacing anything. But first I need to get in a little further inside, and this takes time. I am finding my patience lacking and my ability to sit quietly and wait being tested...
Separation/Solitude: My lacking assignment and role leaves me with a lot of time to think. And when things are a little low, it's quite easy for all this thinking to be about where you might rather be, with people whom you miss, other things you might like to be doing. And all of a sudden, it doesn't matter how many friends one has made, how supported one feels by a host family, how much other good stuff is in the works...it is so easy to feel like no one understands you, that you are in this all alone. Le sigh! (but really, this has been one of my lesser issues...)

Peace Corps says to look for these signs in yourself:
Fright – not so much...
Frustration with Self – yes. definitely. I want to be working. I want to be busy. I want to be a part of it all! What am I doing wrong!?
Loneliness – some days...but my host family leaves me little time to myself to be lonely.
Weight and/or health changes – unfortunately yes. My life involves a lot more cars and buses than I expected. And too much good food is pushed in my direction. I must strike a balance between calorie consumption and daily activity!
Homesickness – only because I don't feel like I am finding my place here...
Uselessness – see “frustration with self”

So what am I doing to help myself through this rough patch I am in? Well, I am making myself get up every day, stick to a routine, and get out of the house...I make my rounds, check in with my friends and contacts, keep having the conversations I need to be having to keep ideas fresh in peoples’ minds and remind people that I am here to work, collaborate and contribute. It´s not easy and it´s not all roses, but I didn´t sign up for the easy road. I recognize that my struggle is normal and magnified in my own eyes, and I feel so lucky to have people close to me to support me and help me through it all!

First Pictures from site!!!

Here are some pictures from my first weeks at site! They are a scatter of here and there, which is kind of what the the weeks felt like, here and there! Ready to settle into a more normal schedule and routine, I hope!


http://www.facebook.com/album.php?aid=2045830&id=27500865&l=90828e42b4

Loma por Loma: Spreading the Micro-Finance word...

At times when I cross the invisible boundary that separates Bahia from its many Parroquias I have to give myself a little jolt to remind myself that I am still in the same place. The difference between standards of living in Bahia proper, and its surrounding Parroquias and communities is startling. Just 2-3 minutes drive from the beach front, luxury, high-rises live people in houses barely nailed or tied together where people live without running water or an established sewage system; people who live in some of the most extreme urban poverty you can imagine. People with only basic (and many with no) education struggle to find work, cover their basic needs, and raise children. This level of poverty extends outward from all that is Bahia central into the countryside, but somehow seems less severe without the city and its influences so close.
One of the many ways the Parroquia in Leonidas Plazas supports surrounding communities in their plight from poverty, is by providing residents with the opportunity to participate in a micro-finance program. Rather than being a Church “handout,” the micro-finance program allows individuals help themselves by taking charge of their own destiny and working toward a better life for themselves and their families.
In the urban area, the Parroquia offers small loans of less than $150 (with litte, and this year no, interest) to local people to start small businesses, or to help small-business owners expand their businesses. One of my favorite loan recipients is a man who sells delicious cream-filled pastries among other pastry things in front of the “Tia.” Apparently, before he carried a basket and wandered the streets selling his little bites of joy. But with his loan from the Parroquia, he bought a display case and rigged it up with a bicycle (which is totally the moda in Bahia) so that he can transport his place of business from his home to his chosen corner. He arrives about mid-morning to sell his treats and stays until he sells out in the afternoon. His business has expanded tremendously, because he can transport more items and has a greater chance of selling them all, which is generally does! I imagine he will be paying his loan off in the next few months as his business is booming!
The other aspect of the micro-finance takes place out in the rural, farming communities surrounding the Bahia area. In these communities people live harvest to harvest, with the dry season usually a time without work and without money to spend on their basic necessities. The idea of the micro-finance loans in these areas is to 1) give campesinos the monetary resources to allow them to prepare for the planting seasons with more ease and be less strapped for cash in the months/weeks before purchasing the seeds, fertilizers, etc., 2) to give campesinos the ability to expand their growing capacity by offering them extra funds that they would likely not have access to to plant extra fields, or try out growing new crops. The majority of local campesinos in this area grow maiz (corn), maracuya (passionfruit), and papaya.
Each year, the Parroquia gives local community members the opportunity to participate in the micro-finance project in which they can receive between $100 and $300. But unlike the urban-based loans, the rural loans are based on community organization. To receive a loan, a family, or an individual, if they are single, divorced, or widowed, must be part of the organized community. To be part of the organized community means that families and individuals participate in community projects, efforts, attend meeting twice weekly – it is a commitment, but the organized community also holds its own power, the Parroquia purchases in quantity and at discount, basic supplies like rice, flour, oil, etc, and sells to the community at cost to maintain local bodegas (store rooms) where the profit made is saved for the community fund, likewise, each community has access to the community pharmacy which stocks medications at a low price and conveniently within the community, with the same concept as the bodega. It is a basic community development concept that people are stronger in cooperation, and that if everyone pays into the community funds, the majority will benefit from the community efforts. Thus, in terms of the loans, when someone in the community takes out a loan, the whole community signs on this individual or families loan. If someone defaults on their loan, the whole community is responsible for returning that money to the Parroquia at the end of the growing season and loan period to stay in good faith with the micro-finance program for the following year. The first year that families and individuals sign on to receive a loan, they also sign onto the organized community and can receive up to $100. Those who have participated faithfully in the program before can receive up to $300.
So all this sounds great and nice. But out in the countryside...you can't just activate the phone tree to organize an informative meeting. No No. The only way to inform people that there is going to be a meeting or event is to spread the news yourself. This was how I became so informed of the micro-finance project. Padre Pedro invited me to know more about the project and spend two days in the community of Santa Marta (which by the way my host family had no idea even existed!!!) spreading the word and getting people interested in a community meeting to get all the details with the Padre himself.
For my trip out to Santa Marta, I was told to wear long pants, close-toed shoes, a hat, bug repellent and carry water. I arrived bright and early at 6:30am, ready for an adventure. I drove out to the village, hamlet rather, of Santa Marta with Father Pedro, Humberto, and Rafa and we were welcomed with a breakfast of fresh panes de almidon (breads made with cassava flour and and cheese), milk and coffee at the home of Senora Yolanda. Before long, Humberto dropped Rafa, Yolanda and I off at the first hill that constitutes the upper “loma” (hill) portion of Santa Marta at about 8am. The first few visits went quite easily; we were invited into the homes and shared the information about the micro-finance project and asked them to join in for the meeting the following day at 2pm if they were at all interested. The meeting bared no commitment, purely to get all the information from Father Pedro himself. From these two bottom houses, we hiked a solid 30-45 minutes straight up part of a mountain to the next house. We arrived huffing and puffing and a little sweaty. And continued on with our sojourn. We visited a total of 12 houses our first day, with each house being a minimum of a 30 minute walk from the last. When we arrived back to Yolanda's house in the late afternoon, we kicked back, peeled off our socks (which were saturated with dust to the point of being solid brown) and let our tired feet breath a bit.
The following day, Yolanda, Rafa and I hitched a ride with the water truck out to the other far end of Santa Marta to work our way back into the central area. It was a significantly easier day trip, and hills we climbed paled in comparison to the mountains we had gone up and down the day before. All in all, we visited 28 houses in two days, the entirety of Santa Marta, and hoped that at least a few more than the original 6 participating families would attend our meeting after two days of house visits! Now, i have to pause and say, I have not yet adapted to non-American time...I still arrive to meetings, events, and to meet people a few minutes early, even though I know that they will be a minimum of 10, usually 20 minutes late...So, you can imagine the look of horror on my face when at ten minutes to 2pm (the time the meeting is scheduled to begin) Padre Pedro asks the Senora whom we are eating lunch with for a round of coffees. At 2pm the coffee is served, and we all take our precious time drinking it...at 2:20 we casually meander in the direction of the church to see that not a single soul has yet to arrive. I guess Father Pedro knows.
For the next hour, we pace the church. (And by we, I mean Rafa and I, who have been entrusted by Father Pedro to get people excited and interested in the micro-finance project and the organized community.) Rafa and I exchange a few worried glances, and then we saw a donkey round the corner. Yes. Our first arrival came by donkey! Gotta love the campo for that! By 3:30 there were about 18 families in the church, gathered to learn more about the project. The thing that surprised me most was people's resistence to the organized community, To me, it seems like an all win system. You sign on, to a few group projects a year , that are only to better the community and your own access to resources (water, electricity, roads, etc.) and in exchange you get access to basic goods at a the lowest price and available locally, including medications, greater security, and the opportunity to become better informed and hopefully become better off financially, and personally. I guess not everyone idolizes everything that comes out of Padre Pedro's mouth like I do...and I also recognize that people who live such isolated, quiet, simple lives have reason to be hesitant, if not resistant to an idea that seems too good to be true.
All in all, 14 families said that would join into the organized community and wanted to take out loans for this growing season. Over double the year before, including two young, single men, that are taking loans out for themselves for the first time, rather than as part of their parents family. Families and individuals, and the community sign their forms and officially become united this week in another meeting that I am hoping to attend. There is still time for people to drop out, but also that opportunity for additional families or individuals to sign-on to the program as well.